(no subject)

[shickdits]

total stream of consciousness this time. no editing. no proofreading. i might not even use backspace. im gonna look around my room for some crap, because outside all i see are suburbs, loud cars, and the same beautiful mountain that has loomed over me for the entire 29 years and 6 momths of my life.

uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh there's a bottle cap on my floor. that's kinda neat. does that count as a gasket? seals air out. kept water in. im gonna toss that into a recycling bin that's really just a trash can that i stuck the label of an IPA onto. there we go. Evil Twin Brewing's Silent Night In a New York City Taproom is so fucking good, but that one gas station i got it from, The Common Man on South Willow street in Manchester, New Hampshire, has not had it stocked for months. im not driving all the way to NYC for this shit. i mean, it's good shit, but hell, heading down there is an entire excursion. where would i park my car?

ohhhhh car. i love you, you stinking, evil, mechanical homunculous. your considerately silenced boxer-4 cylinder lungs produce such a unique noise among the V6 trucks, SUVs, and midsize sedans that surround me. BUT YOUR ROOF DOES NOT OPEN!! not for amother few decades, then, and only then, will the rust spot on the roof be large enough for sunlight and wind. unless i do something about it. it's really tiny. should i even care? i dont think of That Thing as some asset to be sold, or a collector's item. i mean, maybe some furry will post about it in 20 years like they do now with such unremarkable sedans of yore like the Saturn SC2, simply because it has a 5 speed manual transmission. shit, i just do not shut up about that, do i?

i forgot the definition of the word that today's Wordle answer is. sounds like it has something to do with water, or the beach, or the ocean or something, but maybe im just dumb. like, i dropped out of community college after taking only two classes and bombing them, and one of them was just charcoal drawing. mom and i moved out to my uncle's place in... Bow, NH? somewhere out there, he had horse stables or a ranch or something out there that i shoveled shit for free at every morning at until we all got evicted, and he didnt fuckin tell us. made my mom and i couch surf for a couple years after that. WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY, JOSÈ??? man, i was stuck in the middle of nowhere eith no job, no car, no licemse, barely any internet unless i litered in my mom's coworker's living room while everyone Out There was goin crazy on Pokémon Go. i missed out :( that anime girl with the big forehead tells me there's no going back...



here's some more bullshit collecting dust in my room: a cowboy hat! from texas! it's very stiff. i thought these things were supposed to have a bit of a leathery texture to them, but i guess you can just weave them out of... oh shit, there's no tag on it that tells me what it's made of, it just says "HECHO EN MÉXICO".. Man, i miss that roadtrip. a longtime friend of mine had moved down there years ago, and he was posting about wanting to kill himself like, every fuckin day, so the rest of us in the friend group convinced him to move back up here, and a couple of us flew down there to drive a U-haul truck with 2/3rds of his stuff in it, the other third in his GF's (now wife) Jeep Patriot. It was an interesting trip! everything down there looks so much bigger because there's no mountains or hills that get in the way of the horizon, but man, there were billboards that were literally telling you ti beat your kids. deeply evil society built upon a beautiful landscape that's slowly getting torn apart by oil companies and privately owned electricity providers.

did you know you could go into that bigass pyramid in... what was it, Memphis? and watch your one gay friend spend $200 on sunglasses? there's a Wahlburgers in there, too. we didnt go. line was way too frickin long, but there's a gas station with some pretty good fried chicken down the street. i wanted to get a souvenir from the bass pro shops, but there's nothing unique that they sell there. i could just go to the one in Hooksett, NH and see all the same crap right now. maybe even score some nerf blasters at the walmart next door, and a pizza at the market basket down the street. they have a guy with an actual culinary degree working at the kitchen in there, but i havent seen him for a while. hopefully he got a better paying job, lol

welp. it's been 35 minutes since i started writing this. sorry it wasnt very introspective this time, but i just didnt have a lot goin on this week. i mean, ive got a new boss who is just my old boss from years ago, but what is there to say about that? wait... oh my god. i couldve wrote about how weird it is that i feel like my life hasnt changed since i last saw him even though it did. i mean, i went to frifkin texas, had my cat die, got a car, crashed that car, got another car, got (walk-behind) forklift certified, started a gunpla hobby and then stopped when i ran out of space on my display case and stopped having two days off a week, uuuuuuhhhhhhh what else.... i dunno. working 50 hours a week has done a number on me feeling like i have a soul, but at least i get disposable income working frickin retail and paying $600 a month for a room in my mom's boyfriend's house upstairs. do any girls want me? ahhaha, i have no idea what i want in life, but at least that fact doesnt depress me. i have potential, i think. 30 years old this september, by the way. no, it's not getting to me that ive never put myself Out There, what do you mean?? shut up. stop reading this. im gonna play video games or something now. i spent 43 minutes writing this with only the diegetic sounds of the border between the suburbs and the ghetto coming in through my open window. lots of harley davidson motorcycles on this unusually warm March 10th in New England. a high of 73° farenheit today. see ya here next week, hope i have something Real to write about then